well since people keep figuring out.. geez.. so like all my friends in town know. i'm holding off on telling family. but i guess you guys can know..


I'm pregnant with #2


that damn danu necklace!!!!!!!!!! so pretty it just calls to you to wear it...  so that answers some of AJ's dreams.. LOL


just for the record, i'm not excited about it yet.... i don't know how i feel about it.. BUT i'm pretty darn sure its a boy. LOL

so any of you taurus' or Libra's out there, how well do you get along with the other???  I'm really hoping there is a good friendship here. 

www.sensualmagick.com/decembermoon   its a naughty store..

and don't forget the magick store:

www.jupitergardens.com

Well ok heres the skinny, LOL, I lost my job and that is where the scale was that i would weigh on. SO I guess I won't be able to see if i'm progressing or not. although I feel like i've done a back slide as far as how clothes fit.

in other news... i'm being sued.. by the hospital i transfered to after having violet. they never billed my insurance, so their fault not mine, why do i have to pay?!?!?!?!


sigh.. well i need to clean house for my Lia Sophia party...  

well i weighed myself on monday but forgot to post.. 263.. woop no change.. but then yesterday i weighed myself with the intention of posting then and forgot again.. but i was down to 259 WOO HOO.. so i don't know if i should really count the wednesday weight since it could mess with this coming tuesdays weigh in, monday is a holiday,... well i'll count it anyway

259 on the 27th..

4lbs lost WOOOT.. lets hope what i'm doing is finally working. OH and i went shopping on saturday. i have a fav pair of capri levi's well they are getting holes already (a yr old) so i went back to buy another pair, they were on sale and i couldn't remember what size the ones at home were so i picked up 2 sizes. tried them both on and concluded that the smaller size fit like the ones at home did. so i got those.. got home and my pair at home were actually the larger size.. so i feel very accomplished that i at least went down a pant size in the past year. Even if my weight doesn't show it.

but we'll see next week, as i kinda wasn't paying attention the past two days.. ice cream for dinner and donuts for breakfast. but i'll be cleaning the house like a mad woman so hopefully i can burn off some of those empty calories.. i always seem to faulter when i'm sick.

monday nights:

I dreamt that I was a new vampire, and i was in this loft with my new family. Well this allied family shows up and their queen tells our king that she has more "stuff" for his whole family but we'd have to come to get it. Well this is taking place in current time very NOW, and I for some reason thought she was talking about drugs of some sort. Well we all head out and some take these like expidition or hummer limos but when those fill the rest of us are told to take the boats. So I am just following along, when I realize I'm very much alone, meaning i'm around no body i know. I look around and I see these two DJ's from defcon we made friends with DJ Great Scott and Scritch. Well I try to catch up to them but by this time we reach the beach and there are THOUSANDS of us just walking into the water and swimming to these boats. Well I lost track of them in the water. I get on this boat and i'm terrified being around all these people i don't know. When we get close to our destination i see a boat next to me with the DJs on it. So they start swinging their boat in my direction and I take a HUGE flying leap towards there boat hoping that some vampire skill has set in, because i'm THAT new. Well I almost make it, but then climb into their boat. Well i guess there is some kind of limit and with me on it the boat flips. OH i'm wearing all vinyl like whats her name in shit... i cant remember the movie.. vampire vs. werewolves, she falls in love with the half breed.. you know which one i'm talking about. well we get ashore and we are in a mall and we have no idea why we are here and our only guess is that we are heading off to battle. then i wake up.

ok LAST nights Dream, this one got me out of bed for a half hour:

So I guess Defcon has moved to california being that none of the remaining casinos in vegas will have us. And I guess Andy and I decide to get a hotel room at the convention for ease of use. Well I was out visiting you guys i think, or on my way or something, i'm not really sure where i was. But I wasn't at the hotel and my mom was, i'm assuming to watch violet. Well Andy was on his way back from working and some drunk driving atendee hit him (he was walking back) RIGHT out in front of our room. My mom hears the commotion and goes outside. Again i'm assuming violet must have been asleep or something. And she gets to him in time to watch him die. I don't remember getting a call, i think i found out when i got back from where ever i was. I remember sitting right outside the room in like a patio chair calling to violet to come out with me, and she is too scared to come out the front door. I remember thinking i wonder where it happend and looking for stains on the ground. I was sooooooooo in shock, i didn't know how to react. I then called cass to tell her what happened. And I don't think she believed me because i was so calm and not at all emotional. then i woke up in the middle of our conversation and thinking i've got a lot of people to call. I woke up litterally crying, it was very strange. Then all the thoughts of what i would have to do, and violet with no dad.. made it all worse. I had to get up at 4am go into the living room and just lay on andy for a half hour, and cry. he was of course up futzing on the computer. like usual. It would have been nice for him to have been in bed so i could have just rolled over. BUt then he would have been alseep. At least he was awake and asked what was wrong and told me everything was fine and tried to cheer me up..

weird fucking couple of days man!!!

OH then i woke up in such a hurry i didn't get my coffee or breakfast so I'm all off today

well nothing exciting to report. i'm back down to my starting weight 263.  i think thats where i started.. still stuck in a rut...

well this past weekend was DEFCON and I only ate like 3 times in 4 days but I DRANK a LOT... so that must account for the gain..

current weigh in.. 267!!!! I haven't weighed that much in a year!!!

I'm hoping that there was also a lot of dancing and walking associated with the drinking so lets hope that in a few days there will be a drop.. LOL

Ok so I promised Mysty I'd go on weight watchers with her and I'm going to use this to try to post every monday on my progress.. I weighed myself on wednesday when i technically started and i was 263... which is sad to think that its taken me 15 months to loose SEVEN POUNDS!!! just 7 people.. me trying all kinds of different diets and exercise regimes and i only successfully lost 7 lbs... sigh.. hopefully weight watchers will help more...

ok so today... i weigh:
262.2

my short term goal is :
236lbs which is 10% of my current weight lost as well as where i started last time when i went on WW and lost 50lbs successfully.

My long term goal is:
165 thats almost 100lbs to loose.. wow that seems like a lot. but i've known men to do it in a year.. but i'm not a man.

wish me luck, this has been a very hard battle for me lately...

Ok so I was in my old bedroom in cali and decided to spend some time visiting the "other" family. well instead of visiting with some gods i am transported to what felt like Jotenheim. Large mountains, almost volcanic at times and there walking was a woman and Odin being led by his dogs. Well the woman had these reptilian/bat like wings and a long slender tail like mine. Thought it was me since my wings tend to vary shape on mood. the POV was like i was flying behind them keeping watch. I tried to put myself into the woman thinking thats where i needed to be and when i did she transformed/morphed into a dragon flying high above as to get a lay of the land, then I pulled back out of her baffled. She was gorgeous scales of dark blue indigo on top and most of the body and then some red/copper scales on the bottom. When she transformed back I could see classic red head hair and wavy. soooo beautiful, but I couldn't see the face. Thats when i realized it wasn't me, but that it was family. OH and at the end of this graceful cat like tail a few spikes like you see on a stegosaurus almost. She also wasn't wearing long flowing like clothing like i usually see on me. but more journey-ing clothes, leathers, close to the body, etc. I think at one point there was water or some kind of feeling that the dragon could just as gracefully transform to be perfectly comfortable in water.

then this morning i was just staring at her sleep and a name came to me Persephone Rayne. yeah that should have been her name. Que sera.

yeah pretty cool!!! I'm just waiting for the day she'll turn to me and tell me "mom, i'm Persephone not Violet"

http://www.cafepress.com/cgod20.55984111 <kimberly i thought of you http://www.cafepress.com/littlemonkeytee.128498922 http://www.cafepress.com/mamadiggs.192997175 http://www.cafepress.com/brainchildshop.151707689 http://www.cafepress.com/dotted_quad.46468694 http://www.cafepress.com/rebel_scum.199843388 <LOL Kat http://www.cafepress.com/eteez.28813965 http://www.cafepress.com/bitmason.52983545 http://www.cafepress.com/outer_monologue.193691289 http://www.cafepress.com/oddmatter.177070350 http://www.cafepress.com/aplacewithrocks.188958346

ok so y'all mostly know that i've dropped out of college programs again and again, for one reason or another. It has always bothered me that I didn't get a degree, even though I only had 2 classes left to take for my AA. I keep trying to find ways to go back to school and get my bachelors but I keep not being able to afford it, or not finding something i'm extremely interested in that is easy enough for me to do. Now that I have Violet traditional classes will be even harder.

Well I think I may have found something that I can do. I can take as long as I want, it's one flat fee, and it's actually something that I find interesting and am already learning about.. HERBS and Holistic Medicine!!!

http://www.gcnm.com/bachelor-of-science-in-holistic-health.html

now I just need to stock away a little of every paycheck into a savings account until I have enough $$ to enroll. Even if all I do with this degree is use it's teachings for my family, it will have been worth it, plus I can say I have my bachelor's degree. which would make my parents VERY happy!! It will be a great way for me to play with herbs and I can even play with them magickally. I may not have been able to complete natural magick but at least I can learn some this way too!!

ya ya I know I change my mind soo much we'll see if this one sticks long enough for me to do anything with it. but you have to admit $3200 for a bachelor's degree is pretty cheap. And yes they are an accredited college!! then another $3200 for the master degree and then $5200 for the doctorate. I don't know if I'll go that high. I mean hey if I win a jackpot and can afford the $10,000 for all three degrees I would probably do it. It would take me forever to complete but then I'd be a doctor of holistic medicine!! I know I'm dreaming but how cool would it be to know accupressure, Qi Gong, reflexology, and gods knows what else.

well we'll see. first off i'm going to start by joining our herb co-op and making tinctures for us to have for the ickys season. see how i feel after that.

feel free to tell me I've lost it, I won't mind.

A single gene influences whether breastfeeding improves a child's intelligence, say London researchers.

Children with one version of the FADS2 gene scored seven points higher in IQ tests if they were breastfed.

But the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences study found breastfeeding had no effect on the IQ of children with a different version.

The gene in question helps break down fatty acids from the diet, which have been linked with brain development.

Seven points difference is enough to put the child in the top third of the class, the researchers said.


In the past people have had different results about whether breastfeeding improves IQ and this would sort out the reason why
Professor Jean Golding

Some 90% of people carry the version of the gene which was associated with better IQ scores in breastfed children.

Researchers at the Institute of Psychiatry, Kings College London, used data from two previous studies of breast-fed infants in Britain and New Zealand, which involved more than 3,000 children.

IQ was measured at various points between the ages of five and 13 years in the studies.

Previous studies on intelligence and breastfeeding have come up with conflicting results.

There has been some debate as to whether mothers who had more education or who were from more affluent backgrounds were more likely to breastfeed, skewing the results.

Nature versus nurture

Professor Terrie Moffitt, a co-author on the paper, said the findings gave a fresh perspective on the arguments by showing a physiological mechanism that could account for the difference between breastfed and bottle-fed babies.

"The argument about intelligence has been about nature versus nurture for at least a century," she said.

"However, we have shown that in fact nature works via nurture to create better health outcomes."

Since the studies used in the analysis were done, manufacturers have begun to add fatty acids to formula milk but there have been inconsistent results on the benefits.

Belinda Phipps, of the National Childbirth Trust, said: "This shows for the majority of parents they can have a positive effect on their babies IQ by breastfeeding."

Catherine Collins, a dietician at St Georges Hospital in London and spokesperson for the British Dietetic Association, said the study highlighted the interaction between nutrition and genetics.

"In this study you have an effect that suggests that nature is more important that nurture.

"If nine out of 10 babies benefit, then that is a very good chance."

But she added the study did not specify how long babies were breastfed for and it may be that even breastfeeding for a short period may be beneficial for intelligence.

Professor Jean Golding, who founded the ALSPAC study set up in the 1990s to follow the development of thousands of children in the South West of England, said the results were fascinating and they would be doing a further study of the gene.

"In the past people have had different results about whether breastfeeding improves IQ and this would sort out the reason why," she said.



YAY for breastfed babies!!!!!

ok last night i remember parts of one dream, violet's not sleeping well so i don't get finish them.

someone died.. and someone and i have this person in two trashbags and we are trying to find a place to dump the body. then i remember something andy told me in real life about hydrocloric acid and a hack saw... then i wake up..

and EVERY morning for months now i've been waking up with the SAME song in my head.. and it's not something i have even heard in years.. Geggy Tah "whoever you are"

All I wanna do is to thank you
even though I don't know who you are
You let me change lanes
while I was driving in my car. . .
Whoever you are
I wanna thank you who...


WTF!!!!!